Tag Archives: oj patterson

Think Inside the Box

OJ Patterson, contributor I only fux with boxed wine. It smashes bottles 10 times out of 10 —because it’s perfect. Squishy gland of red or white divinity, inconspicuously armored in ergonomic pragmatism. The bag: an electric sheep bota; a hardcore water balloon; an inglorious douche bag. The box: cardboard. Bottles are heavy. Bottles are frail. Bottles are for babies and …

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Advice for the Future

OJ Patterson, contributor Dear Xuizy, I think someone’s in love with me, but I’m not sure if I should go for it. To preface, this isn’t a technosapien issue. I have no problem dating across the Spectrum. Nevertheless, despite dating droids in the past, I’ve never met someone like METALFACE. There’s something different about him: flamboyant, persistent, engaging, infuriatingly charming. …

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Nerd School: A Poem

OJ Patterson, contributor   Nerd school, nerd school where nerd ladies and gents… Well, it’s nerd school so less ladies than gents. In fact, statically a mere ten percent. Nary passing the Bechdel nor women’s lit. Nerd school, nerd school, a time I resent. Game design student, cash poorly spent.   There were nerds of all shapes, sizes and hues. …

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