Tag Archives: pizza issue

Lunch at Ft. Sumter (or How Pizza Started the Civil War)

Dr. Taint Wellsworth, contributor Professor of Historical Anecdotes Knob College of Heating and Cooling Online Transcribed by Derek Luna   New information obtained from the Historical Society of South Carolina has shed light on events leading up to the Civil War. Historians have long pointed to states’ rights and the ever-growing issue of slavery as hotbeds of tensions between the …

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30 Inches or Less

Zeke Herrera, staff   [A man wearing khaki shorts, a baseball hat, and a red polo shirt anxiously rings the doorbell at a large mansion. A woman answers wearing nothing but a robe]   Steve: Hi, I’m Steve. Are you Debra? Debra: Yes, how can I help you? Steve: I’m the prostitute you ordered. Debra: Oh, please come in.   …

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Bud Time – Sprig THC-infused Soda

Matt Redbeard and Evan Vest, contributors Redbeard: I fuck with soda. It’s like easily the best invention because it’s rad and water is fucking gross. Sprig not only doesn’t taste like weed, it’s fucking super potent. Like I felt the fear after like two of them. Or maybe it was four, shit’s so good. Next time I get my hand …

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piZZZa: 21st Century Sleep Aid

Gage Hensley, contributor   Ever wonder why they call it a food coma? Or how you can’t seem to connect a restless night with a hearty binge of late-night pie? A new study has been shown to prove that your favorite cheat meal — midnight snack, order-in dinner — is also your new cure for insomnia. Now have the perfect …

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Reno-Style Pizza

Bobby Benedict, contributor   I’m very partial to both Reno and pizza.   I’m sure you’ve been subjected to many opinions on regional pizzas, from the purists in New York to the gearheads in Detroit who are convinced you need to make a Sicilian-style pizza on an old Chevy or whatever. The world is full of pizza pandering, pulling the …

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Fuck, Marry, Kill: Frozen Pizza Edition

Tom Bomb, contributor   As a comedian who lives alone, cooking is something for which I have very little time. My busy schedule doesn’t allow for much culinary variety so my food options are limited to fast food, take-out, and frozen items especially frozen pizza (FP). For this particular version of Fuck, Marry, Kill, I’ve skewed the rules a bit. …

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STRAGNER THINGS, SEASON TWO SPOILERS (LEAKED!)

Rocco Tenaglia, contributor I have it on good authority that these are some of the key plot elements in the upcoming Stragner Things: Season 2! So if you don’t want spoilers, then look no further! Detective Stragner will find his ex-partner Jenkins in bad with Harriet. Again. Mike the barback will finally figure out who did the graffiti of the …

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Having Money, Sunblock, and a Husband Doesn’t Mean You’re a Good Mom, Colleen

The top four daily struggles of single moms* Tiffany Greysen, contributor   Inappropriate Questions Other adults asking you inappropriate questions, such as, “Are both your kids from the same dad?” What kind of fucked-up question is this, Colleen? I mean, seriously, don’t you think if we were close enough you would already know? Don’t you, Colleen?   Money While Colleen …

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Alternative Names for Bands

Evan Vest, contributor   It’s really embarrassing when I get the name of a band wrong, so instead of owning up to my ignorance, I just tell people it’s an alternative name for that band. Here are a few of my favorites.   Grateful Dead: Jerry and the Boys Rolling Stones: Mick Jagger and His Skeleton Crew   Phish: Fish …

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