Tag Archives: science issue

Dating Advice from Super Famous Scientists

Let’s be honest, dating is hard for everyone. Most of us are just too damn stupid to figure it all out. That’s why we here at Savage Henry are giving you the chance to ask the most famous and smartest people in the world some hard hitting questions. So sit back and get some answers about everything from hitting it …

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Lesser-Known Holidays

In my home, we love the holidays. Everything from Christmas to Easter to New Year’s Day to New Year’s Eve to Flag Day to Labor Day to the 4th of July to Memorial Day to Martin Luther King, Jr Day to Christopher Columbus Day to Cesar Chavez Day to Valentine’s Day to Mother’s Day to Father’s Day to Secretary Day to …

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The History of the Universe

Crancel T. Comptomptricks, contributor (Translated from Old English by Lester Z. Methmiths)  Three incredibly long days ago I was awaken to the sound of something frightening. Something I can only describe as disgust. Disgust at what is being taught to our larva. (By which I mean children.) They are being taught to think that plants and animals can change through something called …

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Exactly What Did that Woman Use to Blind Thomas Dolby With Science?

In 1982, known blind New Wave musician Thomas Dolby released a gut wrenching account of the assault that lead to his blindness. “She Blinded Me With Science” rocketed to the top of the charts as Dolby was celebrated as a hero for being able to use his art to deal with a such a traumatic experience. He said he was …

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Science is my Personal Lord

Justin Alan, contributor To my personal Lord and Savior: Our Father, who art in… every damn thing… I pray to thee. Oh Science, to you I am so grateful. For you make my popcorn pop in that box with a clock I keep in my kitchen. You, who art the one which makes the methane gas escape from betwixt mine …

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The World is a Cold, Cold Place

Mankind has been slowly spiraling a whirlpool that will eventually destroy us all, ever since Al Gore invented global warming. No matter our efforts to cut carbon emissions, put a cap on greenhouse gases, or expend energy on reducing, reusing, and recycling, nothing has truly halted the inevitable decline of our planet’s habitability. Humankind’s numbered days become more obvious as the …

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Shoe Chucker: The Science of God’s Love

Choada Salinas, contributor Considering all this blasphemy about whether or not those godless heathen homos should be allowed to wed under the same holy institution that has given me my three wives and 16 children, it only stands to reason that I would be angry. How dare the state afford the same rights to people who like different sex than …

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TV KORNER: British Edition

In an attempt to pander to our growing international readership, here are the 15 highest-rated telly programs aired in the UK in March: 1) Kipper, John? 2) Father Butterfart’s Trousers 3) Ooer! I Trod On Something Nasty 4) Rugger Nieces 5) Leftenant Chufnell & Mrs. 6) Twistelton-on-Moore’s Randiest Governesses 7) The Bally Sod 8) Pudding with Nigel 9) BBC3 Movie …

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Kyle Dunnigan, the Interview

Kyle Dunnigan just taught Savage Henry how to avoid cooties…using math. This sage advice was dispensed via one of Dunnigan’s characters, Craig, who maintains dual residencies in both The Internet (Dunnigan’s YouTube Channel) and Reno (911!). Dunnigan’s work spans many mediums: Stage, small screen, and web. He’s done festivals like Just for Laughs, late night television shows like Jimmy Kimmel, …

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Science: Making Your Life Better Since, Like… Forever

Corin Balkovek, contributor Science: Saving Your Life I mean, c’mon:You get cancer and Science helps you with lasers and nuclear chemicals. Saving your life AND possibly helping you turn into a superhero. You need a new heart? “Here,” says Science, “let me use this pig’s heart and help you out.” Then you both laugh and laugh because the reason you …

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