Tag Archives: Sleep

piZZZa: 21st Century Sleep Aid

Gage Hensley, contributor   Ever wonder why they call it a food coma? Or how you can’t seem to connect a restless night with a hearty binge of late-night pie? A new study has been shown to prove that your favorite cheat meal — midnight snack, order-in dinner — is also your new cure for insomnia. Now have the perfect …

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Wynkin, Blynken, and Nod

Tommy Lucero, contributor The names Wynkin, Blynken, and Nod are synonymous with the sweet slumber that is supposed to come at the end of the day. Unfortunately I have a three ring circus that pipes up in my head as soon as I hit the pillow. In effect it makes me want to kick all three of those young men …

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Cherished Lullabies Mom Sang to Me

William Toblerone, contributor Rock a Bye Rock-a-bye baby In the tree top We’ll come down from this tree When daddy sobers up Hush Little Baby Hush little baby don’t say a goddamn word There’s bad people at the door looking for mommy When we get out of this I’ll buy you all the diamond rings you want. If them diamond …

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This SHIT’s for Reels – Dream Edition

Mike Sargent, staff If you research “Sleep. Those little slices of death. How I loathe them. – Edgar Allan Poe” the earliest actual source for that quote is Nightmare On Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors (1987), and for the record, Poe probably never actually said that. Newly back from the dead again, Freddy is suicide-inducing teens with bad jokes, claymation, …

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Got Your Number

William Toblerone, contributor Owning a Sleep Number mattress can be extremely confusing for the first few weeks as you struggle to determine which setting is right for you. Luckily, you can reference this handy guide to get the most from your stupidly extravagant rich asshole bed. Sleep Number 1: You’ve been exceptionally cordial to everyone for your entire life, but …

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Meth: It’s Ambien, but in Reverse

Ah sleep, nature’s unemployment line. You could get so much done if it wasn’t for sleep. Why haven’t you been promoted at work? Why have you not finished your great American novel? Why did your wife/husband leave you? SLEEP! You didn’t have enough time because your body gets “tired.” Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy that …

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10 Best Things To Sleep with After a Break Up

Samantha Gilweit, contributor So you’re single again. And the shittiest part about being single again is sleeping by yourself. And while they could never fully replace your former significant other, here are Savage Henry’s Top Ten replacements for a human body so you’ll feel less alone: 1)   Pillow Pros: Inexpensive, readily available, inanimate so no worries about being considered too …

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The Worst Relationship I Ever Had

Josh Barnes, contributor How did we get to this point? I mean we were practically inseparable. Truth be told I love you, I love you more than I actually hate you. Sometimes I reminisce on how close we were, the things we use to do, you know the good ole days when we were young and dumb together. Like in …

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Ben’s Ten: Volume V: Albums to Listen to While Stoned

Although I no longer indulge in “the grass,” I feel I can offer some musical suggestions based on conversations I’ve had with a number of “users” and past experiences. Not surprisingly, mellow, atmospheric recordings seem pleasing to those who’ve recently smoked. I also found instrumental compositions and strange, experimental music seemed popular among the marijuana enthusiast. This is by no …

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