Tag Archives: summer

How to Maximize Your Carnival Experience

Evan Vest, contributor   It’s county fair season, and there’s no better way to make summer memories than riding puke machines assembled by disgruntled carnies. Since you’ve made the choice to die, why not end your journey with these fun carnival tips?!!   Before you take your seat on the Zipper, look the ride carnie in the face and say, …

Read More »

Reasons You Should Have Your Mole Checked

Hemlines are up, and so are rates of skin cancer. But if you’re addicted to that burn anyway, here are seven signs you should look for if you’re concerned at all about dying from a completely preventable disease: 1)  YOUR MOLE SPEAKS IN SPANISH Moles shouldn’t speak at all. If your mole speaks in Spanish, it’s a sign that the …

Read More »

Summer Weakonomics

Isaac Kozell, staff Summertime, and the livin’ is easy. Yeah, right. If George Gershwin were here right now I would call him a jerk right to his damn face. If you’re like me, your summer fun potential is dangerously at risk of being squashed by the oppressive monster that is Being Broke. These days, everything is more expensive. A single amusement park ticket costs upwards …

Read More »

10 Things You Must Do Before the End of Summer

Paul Danke, contributor   With July Fourth in our rearview so moves us out of the patriotic holiday rock block that is Memorial through Independence Day and into the grime and sweated funk of late summer. The days are hotter, and grow increasingly thoughtless and meandering. The freckled are more freckled, the moustache’s seem less ironic and once fresh summer …

Read More »