Tag Archives: tips

Our Own Savage Henry Pizza Tips!

Jane Malone, contributor Did you get conned into making dinner for your albatross of a family yet again? We’ve got six easy tips for making sure that even the easiest meal is heaped with a smothering of shame, just like Mom used to serve! Make sure they know how long this project took. “Dinner doesn’t just appear by magic.” Say …

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How to Keep Things Pleasurable When Wrapping it Up

Bruce Lynch, contributor Your fancy dinner party was a great success and it’s time to start winding things down. The problem is that things seemed to go over a bit too well and your friends don’t want to leave! How can you get your guests to head home when all they are interested in doing is spending more time enjoying …

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Home Improvement Tips

Zeke Herrera, staff I know you’re like me and you’ve watched Home Improvement and thought “this could probably be better”. Tim Taylor’s antics are fun, but my 15th time going through reruns, things can get a little dull. Of course it could be improved (*wink*), but how? Well here’s a few pointers on how to make your Home Improvement viewing …

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Cooking Tips

It’s that time of the year again — time to eat. Here are some good tips for making the process of food preparation easier: *To soften a package of cream cheese, hurl it balefully into a roaring fireplace *Tenderize your meat by whispering your undying devotion to it *For those hectic moments when you don’t have a minute to spare, …

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Never Get Another DUI

Adam Jacobs, contributor Driving Under the Influence can ruin your life and in the state of California you can get a DUI for being high on weed. That’s fucked up. When I’m stoned I drive way better than when I’m sober. I drive slower, pay more attention to butterflies, obey all traffic laws, and stop at every drive-thru. I think …

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How to Achieve the Perfect Stoner Look

Evan Vest, contributor Look, I enjoy weed as much as the next guy. It’s pretty obvious when you see me that I smoke, which is rad because I’m always being offered weed or getting robbed. I’ve achieved the perfect stoner look after years of practice, and I’ve found one thing that has helped immensely: I’ve never worn ANYTHING with a …

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Get High Off Your Own Supply

Keith D., contributor Every drug dealer has heard the age-old adage, “Don’t get high off your own supply.” Well, I’m here to tell you that’s foolish. You HAVE to get high on your own supply because it’s cheaper that way. If I have a pound of freshly grown weed, why would I turn around and pay one of my competitors …

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How To Grow Nugs

The easiest way to grow nugs or “Merry-hana” as it’s called in the dictionary is a process that involves many steps. It takes a true genius to grow nugs in this easy way. If you’re not a genius like me then you won’t even understand this 700-step process and you’ll be a loser for the rest of your life. Sorry …

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Cherished Lullabies Mom Sang to Me

William Toblerone, contributor Rock a Bye Rock-a-bye baby In the tree top We’ll come down from this tree When daddy sobers up Hush Little Baby Hush little baby don’t say a goddamn word There’s bad people at the door looking for mommy When we get out of this I’ll buy you all the diamond rings you want. If them diamond …

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