Tag Archives: Wine Issue

Paul Danke – Dank

To say this is not a music review is a disservice because Paul Danke’s jokes are music to my ears. Danke released his semi self-titled debut comedy record Dank on A Special Thing records this month and his freewheelin’, off the cuff style makes it feel like you’re hanging out with a friend on a road trip. No, not that …

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Wine all you want

Spencer Devine, contributor One time I went grocery shopping with my parents at Trader Joe’s for the first week of the college semester. We got all the essentials: Cereal, milk, bread, yogurt, etc., and then we got to the wine and beer aisle. “Do you want a bottle of wine?” my father asked me as we passed the bottles of …

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Glengarry Glen Rossi: A Tale of Failed Marketing

Before we at Savage Henry had our vineyard repossessed by the IRS. (Apparently comedy magazines are not tax exempt and cannot be claimed as churches) We were in the beginning stages of a nationwide wine ad campaign. Here are the cream of the crop off wine slogans… well, at least the ones that don’t feature explicit sexual imagery or compromising …

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Think Inside the Box

OJ Patterson, contributor I only fux with boxed wine. It smashes bottles 10 times out of 10 —because it’s perfect. Squishy gland of red or white divinity, inconspicuously armored in ergonomic pragmatism. The bag: an electric sheep bota; a hardcore water balloon; an inglorious douche bag. The box: cardboard. Bottles are heavy. Bottles are frail. Bottles are for babies and …

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Alicia Unconventional Liability Niebla

I love ur magazine. I was hung over one day walking home cause there was no bus on sun an laud down on the sidewalk to rest am found savage Henry laying there so I used it to block the sun on my face.after napping awhile I ended up reading it and laughed my ass off. It was fucking great …

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Survival Knife – Survivalized EP

Joel Leavitt, contributor If Olympia’s Survival Knife was a real survival knife, it would be a super radical Bear Grylls edition. You know, the one with all the extra shit on it. The type of knife where your look at it and say, “when the fuck would I ever use that?” But when you need it you say, “oh, I’m …

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Teach Me Equals – Knives in the Hope Chest

The debut recording by Teach Me Equals is a bold, visionary glimpse into the future of pop music. The duo combine traditionally orchestral instruments with samples and noise to create a hypnotic, dreamlike soundscapes. Greg Bortnichak’s hushed, understated voice perfectly compliments band mate Erin Murphy’s beautiful vocal delivery. On “Coelacanth” Murphy’s voice stands practically alone as she sings “Now I …

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Greylag – Greylag

A greylag is a type of goose known for being the last to migrate, literally lagging behind other geese. That’s a fitting metaphor for the band Greylag, a Portland trio whose debut full length is out now on Dead Oceans. Greylag’s brand of Americana-tinged folk rock isn’t really a brand at all. It’s more of a copy of a copy …

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The Juan Maclean – In A Dream

Adam Jacobs, contributor  The Juan Maclean’s music sounds like what a dude with a MacBook and a handful of Adderall performing at Coachella would play.  The album starts off with a driving track that made me feel like I was in a video game, yet also made me nervous that someone would hear me listening to the song. Repetitive bass …

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