Tattoo Orders Things

Do you guys remember Tattoo from the hit 80’s television program Fantasy Island? Well, we do, and here are some transcripts of his common daily interactions.


Bagel Store

Clerk: Hello Mr. Tattoo, welcome to Fantasy Island Bagels, what kind of bagel can I get started for you?
Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane!
Clerk: Would you like cream cheese, or lox… or anything?
Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane!



Sales Guy: OK, Mr. Tattoo. So you’re gonna do some home repair? Great. We have a long line of Craftsman tools to help you with all your woodworking. So what can I show you?
Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane!


Basketball Court

Basketball Guy: Hey, Tattoo! I’d love to play basketball with you guys… is it “I Got Next” or a play-in game?Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane!



Customer: I sure do like it here on Fantasy Island! Oh hey, you’re that small funny lookin’ feller who yells at jetliners! Cool! You work at the newsstand too? Crazy! Anyway, my friend died and I’m looking for a copy of the paper from his town that has his obituary in it. He’s from Cleveland, but I can’t remember the name of the paper. Something like the Cleveland something Dealer or something…
Tattoo: De Plane! De Plane!


Ross Dress For Less

Tattoo’s assistant: Tattoo, do you want this Affliction T-shirt or this plain white T one?
Tattoo: Actually, I prefer Ed Hardy in a XXS if they have it. One with tigers on it. Please and thank you very much Trudy, my assistant.

About Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He's the publisher of Savage Henry Magazine.

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