Evan Vest, contributor
Everybody is a little weird in their own right, but some definitely stand out more than others! Here are some major tells that let you know you are dealing with a grade-A weirdo.
They have INFOWARS.COM written on their forehead
Look out! This guy is advertising his favorite website for free. The weird thing here is that it is written on his forehead; if he was a real fan he would tattoo that shit!
They prefer Sammy Hagar-era Van Halen
What in the world is this freak thinking? You’re going to pick Sammy over the diamond of rock n’ roll? Of course I am talking about Van Halen vocalist Gary Cherone. Rock on Gary!
They own over 12 cats
They have a cat for everyday of the month but they are too lazy to cook and eat any of the others? Stray far away from these freakbabies!
They worry about the dreaded Chupacabra
I have a friend who is terrified the beast known as the Chupacabra is going to strike in the middle of the night and suck the blood juice out of his chickens. It’s weird that he would worry about such a thing, because the Chupacabra lives in Mexico. and he should be a lot more worried about Sasquatch!
They read this magazine!
Haha! Caught you, weirdo! It’s OK, I like being weird too. I got some glow sticks for us to eat! I got some nakey mags in my backpack to look at too, stole em’ from underneath my uncle’s gun rack. Ever do a space monkey before? It’s where you make yourself pass out. Anyway, I’m so excited to be your best friend!!!