The Audacity of Soap

Evan Vest, contributor


In the later 1990s, Ryan Jaunzemis was the king of soaping, a sport that combined elements of skateboarding along with what now would be called parkour. Using shoes with a grind plate attached at the bottom, Ryan was soaping his way into magazines and sponsorships, until an e-mail blunder cost him almost anything. The short documentary Soap or Die chronicles the tale with stoke levels only appropriate for such a story, and also offers some motivation to live how you like. I asked Ryan some questions about soap, smoke, and living to the fullest


Evan: Hey man, thanks for doing this interview. The documentary Soap or Die features footage of your old school days as a soaper, and it made me really nostalgic. If you could help bring back another thing from the 90s-early 2000s what would it be?

Ryan Jaunzemis: Oh, definitely pogs. Pogs really were the Fidget Spinners of the early 90s (‘93 & ‘94). Pogs & Slammers. I think with the help of social media and YouTube it could be done, that way kids would know the real rules and there could also be more competitions instead of just the main one that they used to have at Disneyland. Also, we need pogs with naked ladies on them. Maybe screenshots from YouPorn or PornHub.


E: Oh that would rule. Pogs definitely get me in the mood for some Pornhub. You’ve had success in the PUA (pick up artists) scene in Vegas. What have you’ve found to be the most effective body soap to use before talking to an attractive woman?

R: I have a few different ones to recommend: Herbal Essences has one called “Long Term Relationship.” I don’t really use it, but I like to keep a new bottle in my shower as it subliminally hints to women certain elements of a long-term romance with me. My favorite body wash or shampoos would def be Avalon Organics’ “Strengthening Peppermint,” since it has a cool & fresh peppermint feeling, and also Dial for Men’s “Magnetic.” I also frequently use Pantene Pro-V’s “Classic Clean.”


E: A quote attached to you says you like to smoke bud. Are you more of an indica or sativa kind of guy? Is it easier to Soap after blazing one?

R: Really it depends on what I’m going to do with the high. I usually only smoke by myself. If it’s to help me sleep I enjoy a nice indica, like bubblegum, which will help me to relax and pass right out. If i am producing music or writing lyrics I like a nice sativa, such as Acapulco Gold or Sour Diesel. And if I’m just chilling or want to watch a movie and relax I like to use a hybrid like Girl Scout Cookies (forum cut). Actually Soaping while I’m high can be fun if I’m in the right mood, but I usually just like to watch Soap videos like Relate Video Productions’ oNe & tWo when I smoke (full-length Soap videos) and they give me great ideas and motivate & inspire me. Then, after I sober up the next day, I head out to hit the streets and get my grind on.


E: I totally relate. I regulate my strains according to my daily goals. What I enjoyed the most about the documentary was how you have genuine love for something some may feel is a trend that has passed, but you truly are one of the best at something that is actually incredibly difficult and dangerous. What advice would you give to younger people who may be insecure about what kind of path they are on?

R: Fuck what anyone thinks. Just do you. Make your life all about accomplishing your dreams & goals. Focus intently on what you want, and then begin to take immediate, progressive action steps now in order to accomplish whatever it is in which you may desire.


Follow Ryan Jaunzemis on Instagram @jaunzemis and his Youtube


Evan Vest is on twitter @EvanVestIsReal

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