The Rules of Craps

Craps is one of the games with the best odds for the players. But it’s really damn confusing with “pass” and “come” and “the horn” and numbers everywhere… what does it all mean? Well, I’m here to simplify it and hopefully keep you from your money down on junk bets. My dad would tell me “That’s how they build casinos,” when someone would drop chips on a “hardway.”

First: The Pass Line is where you make your initial bet. Drop $5 down and throw another $5 behind it for “odds”, which means if a 7 or 11 hits you get something like $3.50. I think.

If a pair of ones come up, everyone is supposed to yell “nipples!”

Laugh hysterically every time you place a bet on the “come line.” The dealers will match your bet because they can’t get enough of that one.

If you bet on the “Don’t Come Bar” you must say something to the effect of, “Hey, sounds like every bar I’ve ever been to,” and nudge the closest dealer.

After a point is made (a number between either 4 and 6 or 8 and 10 is hit) and a 7 is rolled, high-five all your fellow players and say, “Fuck yeah,” to each one.

When security is called and you’re tossing the dice and you roll them before they grab your arms and it’s an even number they can’t detain you.


About Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He has held roughly 100 jobs through his employment career, from a driving range ball picker upper to a door to door film salesman. He started his first magazine, Mean Spirited Willie, in Sacramento around 1997. Since then he has been the publisher of Slow Kids Playing, First Draft, Notes From an American Nobody, Fat Llama Spit and Short Bus Magazine. Durant and co-founder Sarah Godlin created Savage Henry after he was shoved aside as the editor of his local daily newspaper’s entertainment magazine. In the early meetings Durant's wife, Monica, and another writer for Northern Lights, Josh Duke, laid down the groundwork for what the magazine has evolved into. Durant writes, edits, sells ads, manages ad clients and delivers the magazine as well as books stand-up comedians for Savage Henry's monthly comedy shows and its annual Savage Henry Magazine Comedy Festival (formerly SHITS and Giggles Comedy Festival). He also co-produces and co-hosts the magazine's weekly podcast, the Savage Henry Magazine Radio Program. He lives in McKinleyville, California with his wife, three of his children, two dogs, two cats and his Playstation 3.

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