Zeke Herrera, contributor
There have been literally millions of phenomenal artists since the beginning of Etsy, but did you know that art existed before the Internet? This is about the artists that didn’t have that crutch of erotic fan fiction and Elmer’s glue. Some of those artists have really famous pieces of work that are complete dog shit compared to the things they aren’t known for. Here are some of my favorite examples:
Leonardo Da Vinci
What he’s known for: The Vitruvian Man? Good job Da Vinci, you drew a naked dude standing behind another naked dude. Who gives a shit? Not me, until I realized that this was just a blueprint for…
What nobody knows: Goro from Mortal Kombat, way better. Goro rips peoples’ spines out. Let’s see you do that, Vitruvian Man… Pussy.
Vincent Van Gogh
What he’s known for: The Starry Night. Yeah, sure, it’s okay, I guess. If you’re into pictures of nighttime this is the painting for you. If you’re like me, though, you realize this is extremely lacking in bank heists and shootouts. That’s why it should be overshadowed by…
What nobody knows:
That’s right: Van Gogh wrote Reservoir Dogs. Don’t believe all that love bullshit; he really lost that ear acting out the torture scene because he’s method as fuck. Suck it, Daniel Day Lewis.
What he’s known for: Cthulu is awesome and one of the most terrifying creatures ever written about, which is why it surprised me to find out that the same person that invented this also wrote…
What nobody knows: The Care Bears, which is not as cool. Although it does explain the episode where they fight Slender Man, kind of.
What he’s known for: Relativity. Oh man, look at these crazy stairs going every kind of which way. Look at that guy — where’s he going? He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He might as well be trying to find the G-spot. (Am I right, ladies?)
What nobody knows: The USB Cord. What a dick, right? He actually invented this just to piss you off — not to transfer information. It was designed to entangle itself when near other wires and not to be put into a port in one try.