Other Things That Get Better With Age

Milk – You know what I mean? Like cottage cheese.

Grandma’s House – Granny’s been gone for a long time, but that ribbon candy in the bowl’s still kicking.

Canada – It’s pretty worthless, guys; just hoping for the best.

Assorted Meats – Salami, mainly.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – Be Excellent to each other.

Dubstep – (See Canada)

Water – It’s pretty much nothing, so just keep it in the cup forever. Tastes like dust.

Acid – (See Assorted Meats)

Johnny Depp – The older he gets the easier it is to tell that he’s from Jupiter.

Pez – Rip throat candy.

Dodge Ball – You can throw the ball way harder.

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey – Don’t Fear The Reaper

Road Trip Games – Slug bug, BITCH!

Fun Dip – (See Pez)

Ghosts – I keep a jar of them in my closet, out of the sunlight, so they don’t cork.


About Matt Redbeard

Hella Dope

Check Also

The Best Way to Stay Anonymous at Your Next Craigslist Orgy

Cornell Reid, staff   Sometimes when you’re perusing craigslist you accidentally end up RSVPing to …