Other Things That Get Better With Age

Milk – You know what I mean? Like cottage cheese.

Grandma’s House – Granny’s been gone for a long time, but that ribbon candy in the bowl’s still kicking.

Canada – It’s pretty worthless, guys; just hoping for the best.

Assorted Meats – Salami, mainly.

Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure – Be Excellent to each other.

Dubstep – (See Canada)

Water – It’s pretty much nothing, so just keep it in the cup forever. Tastes like dust.

Acid – (See Assorted Meats)

Johnny Depp – The older he gets the easier it is to tell that he’s from Jupiter.

Pez – Rip throat candy.

Dodge Ball – You can throw the ball way harder.

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey – Don’t Fear The Reaper

Road Trip Games – Slug bug, BITCH!

Fun Dip – (See Pez)

Ghosts – I keep a jar of them in my closet, out of the sunlight, so they don’t cork.

 

About Matt Redbeard

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