Things That Are in Sausage

Ever wonder what’s really in sausage? We peeled back the casing to give you the facts.

– A mother’s love. A particular mother, Beth, from Riverside, who has admitted to spending the diaper money on cheap lingerie at Target.

– The copy of Derrida’s The Animal That Therefore I Am you bought to impress the girl who it turned out didn’t shave her armpits, so you wasted a book on.

– Your misplaced Nokia 3310, which held your first text in its memory. It read H im writing u onmy phone.

– Riverside Beth’s husband’s hopes and dreams, including the one about being in a famous ska band. Not just because there is no such thing, but because it was a particularly strong one that he used while making love to the same woman in dwindling amounts.

– Riverside Beth’s pride when she called her neighbor-frenemy, Katelyn, to ask to borrow a few organic diaper inserts because she “like totally isn’t feeling the store today.”

– Neighbor-Frenemy Katelyn’s No-Fuss vegan carob brownies that don’t taste vegan AT ALL!! according to the moms at Jaden’s Mommy and Me play time at the yoga center, but, according to Beth, taste like compressed and squared shit cakes.

– Ground up meat and a small amount of fat that didn’t make it into a consumer recognizable meat cut.

– Spices.

 

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

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