Third Accuser Comes Forward, Says Sen. Bernie Sanders Hugged Inappropriately

The accusations continue to fly as women and men of all walks of life accuse men in power of abusing that power for inappropriate contact and sexual gratification.

 

And just when you thought all of the creeps and predators have been outed, another accuser comes forward, claiming Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders hugged them inappropriately at a 2015 campaign event.

 

“It was an outdoor rally in my neck of the woods, and Senator Sanders was on a walking tour of a little grove, and before I knew it his arms were wrapped around me and his face was buried in my bosom,” claims a 127-year-old yellow birch tree who asked that its name not be revealed. “And the crowd just clapped and clapped and cheered him on? Can you believe that? I’m sure if you Google image search you can find a picture of it, there were enough God damn photographers there.”

 

The tree said it was hugged for about a minute before the senator and his entourage moved on.

 

“He didn’t even look back,” the tree stated. “Just kept walking away.”

 

Sanders’ office has not officially commented, but a campaign volunteer speaking on condition of anonymity said that Sanders inappropriately hugged no less than 200 trees while criss-crossing the country on his presidential campaign. By the sound of it, this is only the tip of the iceberg in the fall of Senator Sanders.

 

“We need to get to the root of this problem right away,” said Mitch McConnell. “I may be going out on a limb here, but we can’t leave it to chance.”

 

The lawyers for the tree at the National Arbor Day Foundation did not immediately return calls for comment.

About Chris Durant

Chris Durant has worked at not working for decades. He's the publisher of Savage Henry Magazine.

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