This SHITs for Reels – Meat Edition

Michel Sargent, Staff

Opening shot: A knife slices a huge slab of meat to the sound of an institutionalized man screaming about The Mad Butcher (1971) (aka Meat is Meat).

Story: Just de-booby-hatched smug self-proclaimed “best butcher” in town finds great way to dispose of human bodies, makes a killing with his new sausage cart.

A sexless couple are running into sex-crazed swingers and other obstacles while trying to open a restaurant. Professional thief Raoul steps in, convincing them to try the dominatrix business. The idea is to kill the trick, steal the money, then Raoul sells the body to a dog food company. I hope you enjoy Eating Raoul (1982).

A guy needs to kill and dress some body parts for an ancient Egyptian Blood Feast (1963) with generous helpings of whiny cops, overacting, crappy makeup artists and a totally sick experimental strings-and-organ soundtrack. Notable for being the first ever splatter film and, well, the soundtrack is good.

A naked woman washes up on a beach, deliriously telling a story of searching for her sister on a nearby island with a huge, expressionist square-blocked house. The sister had been to the house, fed a meaty meal by the Countess Perverse (1974), and then set loose as quarry for the Countess and dinner for the next guest (her…). It’s also a softcore porno, so they’re eaten there, too…

The minute-long stop-action film Meat Love (1989) is a “slice” of life between two raw steaks finding romance, sex, and dinner.

Woah! A man in C.H.U.D. (1984) actually tells his girlfriend it’s her choice to have a baby or not (oh the “horror”…) and John Goodman’s first acting role is getting eaten in a diner. A city is having trouble with its cannibalistic humanoid underground dwelling population so it’s up to a disgraced cop, a fashion photographer, and a soup kitchen cook to uncover shady government dealings.

A man is sentenced to be thrown off a cliff into the sea, survives, washes up onto a cannibal tribe’s beachfront property, and is sentenced to live as an equal for eight months then be ceremonially eaten. Stay until the end of this subversive full-frontal colonization of Brazil by Europe to see How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman (1971).

Q: “Is he subversive, queer, commie, or a Muslim? What the hell is he?” A: A Vietnam vet with a pass from some loony bin who starts attacking people for food who stars a Cannibal Apocalypse (1980) by spreading a people-eating disease. All backed by a sort of cool disco synth soundtrack and gore. Lots of bloody gore…

A mining accident traps a group of men for weeks without food and water, and minutes before they’re found, they draw straws and forcibly eat The Severed Arm (1973) of the loser. Years later, a recently-released-from-the-loony-bin one-armed man starts axe-attacking members of the group. Super-cheap production combined with terrible, stilted acting and an amazing avant-garde electronic soundtrack makes this movie a real treat.

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