Top 10 Jobs at Which to Wear Your Luchador Mask

Zeke Herrera, staff

 

Who the fuck says only wrestlers can wear luchador masks? Fucking losers, that’s who! Here’s other places you wear that mask while gettin’ that guap and that guac.

 

  1. Bank Teller

Handing people cash all day can be tedious work except when the credit cards interest rate is a Boston Crab and the overdraft fees are a Tornado DDT.

 

  1. Bank Robber

I feel like this one’s self explanatory.

 

  1. Taco Bell Manager

There’s no better way to display your dominance over your coworkers than a luchador mask. That and a chokeslam through the table, side of nacho fries.

 

  1. Alpaca Wrangler

Similar reason to Taco Bell manager but you get to work with Alpacas!

 

  1. Captain Crunch

Put some Tapatio in that cereal, motherfucker!

 

  1. Librarian

That way when no one comes in for a book, you can still do elbow drops off the ladders.

 

  1. Professional Pooper

When you poop, no one knows it’s you but you still get paid. The mask also makes it smell harder.

 

  1. Auctioneer

Going once! Going twice! Drop kick!

 

  1. Glory Hole Attendant

More secrecy and easier clean-up.

 

  1. Football Player

This ones almost too obvious. Football players are wearing helmets all the time anyway. You could wear two masks if you wanted to but unfortunately nobody gets to see your sweet-ass mask.

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