When you’re in high school, your brain isn’t done. It’s still cooking. You get so excited about being on a snowboard trip in Wyoming with your Ski Club that you forget a personal hygiene product has been inside you for two and a half too many days. If you are up to date on your tampon box literature than you know what this leads to.
Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing that some dummies who leave their blood-plugs in get when a toxin is absorbed by your bloodstream and starts shutting down your organs. Mine started shutting down ON A 36-HOUR BUS RIDE from Jackson Hole to California. Sweats, fever, cookie tossing, Weird rash… Did I tell anyone? Hell no. You don’t tell your ski club that you’re sick because you left a tampon in for three days. My brain wasn’t done cooking, remember? Death over embarrassment! Only 34 more hours in a small seat to go!
I told them I had the flu. I lived, so it’s cool. The moral of the story is, maybe, to write, “TAKE TAMPON OUT” on your arm with a sharpie every time you use one. That oughta do it.
Please forget this story if you see me on the street.