What’s Worse than Snakes on a Plane? TSS on a Bus.

When you’re in high school, your brain isn’t done. It’s still cooking. You get so excited about being on a snowboard trip in Wyoming with your Ski Club that you forget a personal hygiene product has been inside you for two and a half too many days. If you are up to date on your tampon box literature than you know what this leads to.

Toxic Shock Syndrome is a thing that some dummies who leave their blood-plugs in get when a toxin is absorbed by your bloodstream and starts shutting down your organs. Mine started shutting down ON A 36-HOUR BUS RIDE from Jackson Hole to California. Sweats, fever, cookie tossing, Weird rash… Did I tell anyone? Hell no. You don’t tell your ski club that you’re sick because you left a tampon in for three days. My brain wasn’t done cooking, remember? Death over embarrassment! Only 34 more hours in a small seat to go!

I told them I had the flu. I lived, so it’s cool. The moral of the story is, maybe, to write, “TAKE TAMPON OUT” on your arm with a sharpie every time you use one. That oughta do it.

Please forget this story if you see me on the street.

 

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Check Also

The Best Way to Stay Anonymous at Your Next Craigslist Orgy

Cornell Reid, staff   Sometimes when you’re perusing craigslist you accidentally end up RSVPing to …