White Lady Hour

I fit the criteria for Wine Drinker: I’m a white lady. I’m not going to lie, I drink a shit-ton of Bota Box wine with Refreshe seltzer water. It is “my jam,” as the kids are saying these days. I can hardly make out their little squeaky voices because I am profoundly White Lady drunk.

White ladies who are drunk on wine do not vary in the following activities:

1) Putting on Joni Mitchell records and singing to them very close to the record player
2) Facebook commenting in a slightly more passive-aggressive tone
3) Counter wiping
4) Cable watching with commentary
5) Careless, unthorough laundry
6) Calling up old BFFs to wait for our turn to talk
7) Bonding with the dog
8) Eating whatever was left over
9) Pornhub followed by cookie deletion

 

About Sarah Godlin

Sarah Godlin, one of the creators of Savage Henry, lives in the heart of Humboldt County, California. She has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, but all in all is a hell of a gal. She's responsible for the fold-in's, Catty Mean Girl, the Monthly Confessions, The parental Warning, many features and a grip of the other funny that make Savage Henry so great. She also wrangles writers. If you think you're a funny writer, get a hold of her. She can loud whistle, play harmonica and back a trailer into a tight space. She's a lefty and a Clippers fan. She's also a Raiders fan but don't hold that against her, she enjoys winning just as much as the next person. You can follow her on Twitter! twitter.com/bloglin You can send her emails! godlin@savagehenrymagazine.com You can send her presents! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f2aa/ 791 8th Street, Suite 5 Arcata, Ca 95521

Check Also

The Best Way to Stay Anonymous at Your Next Craigslist Orgy

Cornell Reid, staff   Sometimes when you’re perusing craigslist you accidentally end up RSVPing to …