Tommy Lucero, contributor
The names Wynkin, Blynken, and Nod are synonymous with the sweet slumber that is supposed to come at the end of the day. Unfortunately I have a three ring circus that pipes up in my head as soon as I hit the pillow. In effect it makes me want to kick all three of those young men in their collective marble sacks. As someone who has had more sleepless nights than the parents of the girls I dated as a teenager I understand the amazing feeling of getting a full night’s sleep.
Never take for granted a visit from the Sandman even if Metallica has already sullied his good name, ironically it’s their most sleep inducing album to date. I look back to my more adventurous days when the good people at Anheuser-Busch use to help me slip into a Coors coma, but you can’t lean on that crutch forever since someone will usually figure out that you’re getting your meds on their tab. So with that in mind I eventually had to figure out a new way to get to dreamland without taking the Jaegermeister speed boat to sleepy town which in comparison is a much harder dragon to chase down.
It’s amazing that when I was a kid all I wanted to do is grow up and now that I am one all I want to do is go to sleep. There’s days where I am legitimately jealous of those with narcolepsy, but after living the life of a party monster I am well aware that it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Nowadays I turn to my good friends in the illustrious hash family, suffice to say my Christmas card list has gotten rather extensive.
If you’re anything like me and the monster truck rally of various responsibility and life in general starts to reign down with a tractor pull of anxiety keep in mind that a dab will always do you. I’m convinced that sleeping pills will never knock you into snooze town the way a concentrated effort towards good concentrates will.
Never discount what my older family refers to as the “Devil’s Bush” since it’s actually more like the shrubbery surrounding the walkway to Heaven, not to mention the best sedative since you heard that blind date tell you about her poetry, and with one hundred times the efficiency.