I took the plunge and decided to get rid of my beard. After eight months of being among the unshaven masses, I had grown rather attached to my beard. I had even named him Hank. We had some great times together; he sometimes caught wayward food, kept me warm in the winter, and even hid horrible skin blemishes for me. But all good things must come to an end, and I decided that it was time for my girlfriend to actually see what my face looks like.

I had a goat once apon a time named Grindy. Grindy would spend his days grinding up blackberry bushes and pissing on his own beard. He made little poop pebbles that I once saw my dog eat before they hit the ground. He was a master at autofelatiation and stinking to high hell. You know what he smelled like? Goat milk. I can't touch the Chevre that the hoity-toity think is all the rage. It smells like Grindy. But you know what I never smelled a bunch of? A living pig. Dead ones are delicious. I'm not supposed to eat them, they are for the Goym, but shit.I do.

Ben Allen, music editor

Rock and roll is full of legends, myths and elaborate tales. Sometimes you become more familiar with a band’s back story than you do with their music. Such was my experience with Girls.

Before listening to a note of their music, I had become intrigued with the band, solely based on their background. Lead singer/songwriter Christopher Owens grew up all over the world as member of the sexually perverse, apocalyptic Children of God cult. At times, his mother turned to prostitution to help the cult survive.

Check out this video from my main man, Sacramento artist Eric Goodman. Music by his musical project Station. How do you say "Fresh" in Klingon?

The quick and dirty cast, Sarah, Josh and Chris are back. Music from Station (http://stationmusic.bandcamp.com) and topics like why do hangovers get worse with age and what makes you puke more. Also, Chris and Josh talk about their recent good times at the Seventh Annual Hops in Humboldt Beer Festival. Please enjoy. Editor@savagehenrymagazine.com. Look for the player on the left side of the site.

Savage Henry does Hops in Humboldt

Staff

It took the chief of police to get us in, but we made it into the Seventh Annual Hops in Humboldt beer festival just after the kegs were tapped Saturday in Fortuna. We had a bag full of Awards to give out, empty bellies and a dream.

The drama started last week when beer editor, Josh Duke, had his wallet stolen from his workplace. Without an ID we would have trouble getting in.

Help my buddy get his movie made. Please enjoy

Comin' Straight outta Eureka
An interview with a crazy muthafucka named Ethan Miller

Ben Allen, staff

Are you reading this?
Uhh Yeah Dude: Seth and Jonathan's moms can't be wrong

Chris Durant, staff

"They're so Raven, his daughters," Seth Romatelli said of Kobe Bryant's daughters' sparkly dresses as he watched the post-game award ceremonies June 17 when the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Boston Celtics to win the 2010 NBA championship.

Romatelli is one of two hosts of the podcast "Uhh Yeah Dude".

Episode # 9 of the podcast is up. We try to make up for a couple weeks off with an 108-minute episode.

Joining Josh, Sarah and Chris is the studio is local singer/songwriter Josephine Johnson. Josh brings beer, Josephine brings beer and then we use a Ouija board to contact Charles Bukowski.

Also, in a prerecorded interview, local hip-hop stalwarts Hiway and Jose. We listen to some new Hiway tracks and the two talk about their upcoming project Never Die.

Please enjoy.